yourfieldisableist:

For disabled people – or any marginalized people, really – learning to be selfish is a revolutionary act. Because we’re taught from the start that just by existing, we’re burdens. And that any time we take up space or have any needs or, even worse, any desires, we’re even more troublesome. And if you’re literal-minded or rule-bound as a person, and you get taught manners and the importance of “selflessness” on top of all this, you will reach adulthood terrified of inconveniencing other people, even for a moment. You will be afraid to advocate for yourself because you’ve been taught that needing something is on par with asking for the moon. And you will enter relationships willing to take all kinds of treatment because a part of you insists you’re lucky to have anyone at all.

Give yourself permission to be selfish. Be impolite once in a while, in situations where you can afford it. Try to apologize less often. Ask for what you want, even knowing it may inconvenience someone else to get it for you. The world will not end because you didn’t say “sorry” or because you said “no.” The world will not end because you didn’t chat with people. The world will not end because you asked someone to make space for you.

This is a hard thing and I am still learning it myself, but I think it’s worth learning to be selfish, and even rude, sometimes. I’m not saying you should try to hurt people. I’m saying that if you forget or skip a social convention, people will get over it.

mulchling:

hey.. if you have difficulty socializing or enjoy spending a lot of time by yourself you don’t need to make up for it by being Extra Good at stuff or being hyper productive. u can just live your life and do what u want. i feel like there’s a lot of pressure on people who are like, “shut-ins” or whatever to compensate for being Socially Weird by being like, incredibly good at stuff or being able to do huge amounts of work that wouldn’t be expected of people who aren’t that way but like…… you can do whatever the fuck you want actually. you don’t have anything to make up for.

I’m tired of people romanticizing overexertion. Exhausted is not the new chic, coffee (though a delicious necessity) is not a food group, and running on fumes is not admirable. Why do we hold pedestals for sleepless nights, breakdowns, and inner turmoil? Are those really things to aspire to? Self-care. Balance. The ability to know when your body, mind, and spirit need to take a step back. Those are things we should admire. We have to stop blurring the line between ‘commitment’ and self-endangerment because too many people are burning out before they have a chance to truly shine.

my opinion on the way we envision hard work and the way we should live life  (via runningmandz)

GIANT SELF HELP MASTERPOST

takecare-takecare-takecare:

artcalorie:

alwaysthewayout:

。◕‿◕。

emergency compliment 
calming manatee
calming paintbrush
soothing techniques
the thoughts room
the quiet place
daily puppy
draw a stickman
self injury recovery masterpost
need a hug??
comfort box
alternatives for anger and restlessness
happy thing masterpost
when you’re sad?
click here to smile
feeling stressed?
cheer up!
the dawn room

isnt the rain beautiful
are you feeling okay?
calm down
weave silk to calm down
do nothing for two minutes
match the colours
look at the stars!

wanting to self harm or worse?
maybe you want to comfort someone else
wow beautiful nature sounds!
really good game to get feelings out
nature not your thing? coffee shop noise

sand patterns
speak to people
how to care for self harm cuts
distractions and alternatives for self harm
how to fade and cover scars
what to do when someone notices your cuts/scars?
resisting the urges
25 ways to avoid self injury
tips to help stop cutting
helping someone who is suicidal
stupid games to cheer you up (pointless games)
the butterfly project
just relapsed?
reasons to live

eating disorder support groups
coping with exercise addictions
bulimia recovery
coping with weight gain
overcome your eating disorder

bipolar self help
living with bipolar
dealing with bipolar without medication
10 more ways to cope with bipolar
bipolar coping skills


how to cope with depression
natural depression treatments
ways to deal with depression/stress
overcoming loneliness 
finding the right antidepressant

understanding and managing anxiety
understanding and coping with panic attacks
tips and tricks for dealing with anxiety
anti stress breathing tips
coping with social anxiety
cope with panic attacks

self defence tips
rape escape
how to break out of a zip tie

depression resources masterpost
cool game called ‘the end’ to distract you
“how to cut” (not what you think)
big master post of masterposts

HOW TO

stop skipping breakfast
stop biting your nails
work through feelings of social isolation
understand types of anxiety
deal with anxiety
calm down

calm down during a anxiety attack
do yoga to cheer  yourself up
learn how to mediate
cope with ocd
coping with social anxiety disorder
coping with schizophrenia
coping with depression
coping with bipolar
coping with borderline personality disorder
coping with eating 
disorders
coping with autism spectrum disorder

GET HELP WITH


disorders/mental illness
low on cash but wanting help?
panic and anxiety
coping with PTSD
never say these things to someone having a panic attack
what is ocd?
more about ocd
what is PTSD?
what is social anxiety/social phobia
supporting someone with PTSD tips
living with someone who has OCD
what is depression?
what is autism spectrum disorder?
what is bipolar?
what is borderline personality disorder?
what are eating disorders?
what is generalized anxiety disorder?
what is panic disorder?
what is schizophrenia? 

suicide prevention
hotlines
more hotlines (UK)
list of hotlines for everyone
mental health hotlines

8TRACKS PLAYLISTS CALM/CHEER UP MUSIC

note to self
good feelings
spring fling
coffee shop acoustics
rad covers
good feelings
a little bit of everything
good morning
breathe
acoustic
conquer school
wheels on the road
choose happy
sleepy tunes
coffee shop tunes

BACKGROUND NOISES

MYNOISE
SOUNDROWN
RAINY MOOD
COFFEE SHOP
SOUNDS TO FALL ASLEEP TO
STUDY PLAYLIST
MOST RELAXING TUNE ACCORDING TO SCIENTISTS
CALM SOUND

Important!

This is incredible and I’m also going to add
emergencykitten.com

Because who doesn’t occasionally have an emergency that requires a kitten

Dear artist

auspisstice:

shake666productions:

shipsinkingbastard:

absolutelybrochelle:

You hate what you’ve created.

You hate how it’s somewhat lopsided. How that eye doesn’t quite line up with the other one, and how the hair looks fake, fabricated. You hate how the colors clash and how the light source is GOD knows where. You hate how your knowledge of anatomy is constantly holding you back, teasing you with a carrot at the end of the long stick; you’re so close to being what you think is pro, but you don’t know QUITE ENOUGH to keep that pose from looking wonky. You hate how everyone you admire turns out to be younger than you, or marginally older than you, because that’s when you feel the obligation, the pull of the race to be THE BEST, weighing down your reason.

But before you picked up your paint brush, your tablet pen, your pencil – what was there? A blank canvas, a blank paper, a blank, forbidding photoshop file, and the “responsibility” to get better at art as soon as physically possible.

There was nothing before you put your pencil down. Nothing before you made that first stroke. Every time you think that work is shit, I want you to look at it and remember: before you made that move, before you imagined, created this IDEA, there was nothing. Just a smattering of pixels. A blank page. What remains after you have RECREATED YOUR IDEA, moving it by use of your anatomy studies, your lighting studies, incorporating every single thing you have ever learned about art to make what you see REAL, is the result of you. It is the result of your efforts, and when it comes down to your art, it’s about you. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop thinking there is a race to win. You can do it – you’ve made it this far. Every thing you create is a culmination of your talents, your will to create. That’s powerful. You’re powerful, and fully capable of creating anything you set your mind to.

THE END good night

This is like getting a warm hug from the nicest teddy bear during a cold and terrifying storm and wow hello I love this post

@mingesu

#this applies to literally everything someone can create
#strive to be better but dont put yourself down for ‘not being good enough’
#i struggle so much with that. i know.
#but know that doing SOMETHING is enough.
#but also know that you dont have to constantly be doing something. you’re allowed to let yourself relax.
#please dont beat yourself up for stuff that’s not really worth it in the end. i know. i still do that. it sucks.
#and im trying to unlearn it and i hope you can too

so i wrote some tags that ended up being… a really good message for people with chronic perfectionism issues like mine and i would feel rly bad confining that to such a temporary space. so. here that is.

Executive dysfunction life hack

adhd-is:

star-anise:

Instead of telling yourself, “I should get up,” or “I should do this,”

Ask yourself, “When will I get up?” or “When will I be ready to do this?”

Instead of trying to order yourself to feel the signal to do something, which your brain is manifestly bad at, listen to yourself with compassionate curiosity and be ready to receive the signal to move when it comes.

My therapist calls thinking “I should do this or that/I shouldn’t have done that” constantly, “shoulding all over yourself”, and that it’s waaayy healthier to ask yourself when you’ll be ready, as well as recognizing that you’re placing judgement on yourself, and that self-judgement accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Shoulding all over yourself means you’re stuck thinking about the past, while asking yourself when you’ll be ready is living in the moment, and gearing for your next step. Very good advice from OP!

blacktiepearl:

blacktiepearl:

it’s ok if you’re just surviving. it’s ok if you’re not achieving anything or reaching any goals. just surviving is ok. it’s enough.

seriously! I see what the people I know are doing and to be blunt, it makes me feel like garbage.

but it’s not a requirement for human existence to DO anything other than exist.

so if all you’re doing tonight/this week/this month/this year or even longer is surviving and making it to the next hour or day or week or month or year that’s ok. you’re allowed to do that.

vampireapologist:

Honestly something that bothers me more than most things is having my compassion mistaken for naivety.

I know that another fish might eat this bullfrog right after I spend months rehabilitating it.

I know that turning a beetle back onto its legs won’t save it from falling over again when I walk away.

I know that there is no cosmic reward waiting for my soul based on how many worms I pick off a hot sidewalk to put into the mud, or how many times I’ve helped a a raccoon climb out of a too-deep trashcan. 

I know things suffer, and things struggle, and things die uselessly all day long. I’m young and idealistic, but I’m not literally a child. I would never judge another person for walking by an injured bird, for ignoring a worm, or for not really caring about the fate of a frog in a pond full of, y’know, plenty of other frogs.

There is nothing wrong with that.

But I cannot cannot cannot look at something struggling and ignore it if I may have the power to help.

There is so much bad stuff in this world so far beyond my control, that I take comfort in the smallest, most thankless tasks. It’s a relief to say “I can help you in this moment,” even though they don’t understand.

I don’t need a devil’s advocate to tell me another fish probably ate that frog when I let it go, or that the raccoon probably ended up trapped in another dumpster the next night.

I know!!!! I know!!!!!!! But today I had the power to help! So I did! And it made me happy!

So just leave me alone alright thank u!!!!

autistic studying advice

iamthestrangerinmoscow:

by an autistic undergrad

1) Don’t trust all study guides by NTs

Their brains are wired differently and some things that work for them won’t work for us. There’s a chance those tips and tricks won’t do anything for you, which might make you feel like a failure. You aren’t! If something doesn’t work, move on. It’s okay.

2) If you have executive dysfunction, laziness and lack of motivation is not your problem

When you struggle with executing tasks it may feel like you are lazy and aren’t motivated enough, but that’s not necessarily true! You might be hella motivated and still not be able to do a task. Trying to motivate yourself in that case will only make you more frustrated.

3) Get distractions out of the way

Little things that would not distract a neurotypical person might distract you, in which case you won’t be able to work to your full capacity. Build a sensory friendly environment with no noises, bright lights, bad smells, etc. Use ear plugs or music if you need to. Get stim toys if you stim a lot to concentrate. Good environment is very important and is probably the reason why you struggle at school/college/uni where your senses might be overstimulated.

4) If you tend to hyperfocus, learn when it happens

Hyperfocus can be incredibly useful for studying, so if it happens to you, try to identify when it happens. For me I tend to hyperfocus when there are absolutely no distractions (for me that often means when I have headphones on and I’m alone). Then replicate those factors to get more done.

5) Learn ways around executive dysfunction and limited energy

This is the most difficult part. Studying when you have problems with executing tasks and limited spoons (energy resources) is tough. Here’s how you can deal with it.

6) Understand your priorities

You will not be able to do as much as NTs do in one day. Deal with it now. Understand that simple tasks such as brushing your teeth or talking on the phone also require energy. So prioritize. Assume you can only do one thing today, the most important/urgent one, and do that first. Then the less important thing. And so on.

7) “Don’t half-ass things” is a lie

Half-ass things. Quarter-ass things. If you can only do one math problem today, do it. That will be one less math problem later. If you can only read a few pages of a textbook today, do it. It’s also easy to think “if I can’t write the essay and finish that project today, might as well do nothing”. That’s a lie too. Do a small thing but do something. Do something badly but still do it. You might be able to fix it later. There’s no shame in being disabled, no matter what society makes you think.

8) Do the most complicated thing first

If you have several tasks and one requires more executive functioning, do that first. Your planning skills are probably at best right after you wake up, before you have time to spend any energy. So that’s the best time to do tasks with many steps or to plan tasks ahead.

9) Rest and take breaks right

It’s important to take breaks in between work, but you have to do it right. You might be tempted to do something useful for a break to be productive – like take a walk or read a book or talk to someone. Do not, or at least do not unless you are absolutely sure. Switching to another task requires mental energy, so that will only deplete your energy sources.

For breaks, do something ridiculously easy. Go on social media. Listen to a song and sing along. Watch a YouTube video. Stim. Daydream. Even lay down and close your eyes for five minutes. Just don’t switch to tasks that also require energy.

10) Don’t try to learn by repetition

Studies show that learning by repetition doesn’t work for us. It will not help you make more connections in your brain. Instead, do different tasks. Read from a book. Write down important points from the book. Read them out loud. Try to repeat them without looking. Pretend to explain it to someone. Answer questions related to the material. Draw it. Watch a video about it. Make a mnemonic for it. Whatever. Just don’t sit there reading it again and again.

11) Be kind to yourself

Your energy levels and capabilities will fluctuate from day to day, and you can’t always know how it will turn out. On some days I can write an essay from scratch in one sitting. On others I struggle to make myself a cup of tea. That’s normal, and it’s not your fault. Blaming yourself for it will only upset you and make it less likely that you do at least something today.

Imagine it like this: you are playing a game, and the difficulty setting randomly switches every day. On some days it’s on easy and you get through five levels with no problems. On some days it’s on very difficult and you can’t even get to the first checkpoint. That’s okay. Say to yourself, “my abilities haven’t changed, the difficulty changed”. Today, just get to that checkpoint. Tomorrow you might get through five levels.

12) Learn from other autistic people

For any other problem you might come across, other autistic people are the best source of knowledge. Allistic parents, teachers, friends, mentors, etc are likely to not understand your problem at all, or give you bad advice. Instead consult the real autism experts – actually autistic people. There are plenty of us who got through school, college and/or uni. Reach out to them. They will help.

Good luck!