oh my god, when will people finally stop doing this. claiming that “everyone gets that” is not helping! at all!
yes, everyone can feel inner restlessness sometimes, everyone has difficulty concentrating sometimes, and yes, everyone gets into the “flow” of doing something SOMETIMES.
but for us, it’s not just sometimes, it’s constantly which is why it’s classified as a disorder! it comes with impairments.
anyway, someone please introduce this person to the term hyperfocus:
“Latching onto a subject is not unique to people with ADHD or Bipolar Disorder. There is a concept called “flow” that most people experience. Flow is a groove. When a person is in flow, focus is heightened, creativity is high, ideas conglomerate seamlessly and one point of focus after another simply falls into place.
The ability to focus acutely or find a flow is not the problem with hyperfocus. Like most aspects of life, too much of a good thing can become dysfunctional. Hyperfocus is a problem when the person experiencing it begins to ignore the world around them. Time passes without realizing it. Others are ignored and responsibilities fall by the wayside. At that point, and especially when it happens repeatedly, it’s no longer a positive state like flow, but becomes debilitating.“
flow (which everyone gets) and hyperfocus (which most commonly comes with ADHD, Autism and Bipolar Disorder) are not the same.
stop erasing our symptoms 2k17.
Also hyperfocus doesn’t generally or necessarily occur when it’s useful/you’re trying to focus.
For instance you could come home from the store and you just need to put away your groceries and then get the rest of your chores done for the day and while you’re putting the fridge stuff away you see all the veggies and remember you were going to make tomato soup later so you just start making tomato soup and nearly an hour later the soup is simmering and you’re like “I’m not even hungry” and you’re standing there and you notice none of the groceries are put away and hey look there’s that ice cream you bought… still on the counter.
It’s not necessarily that you’re so focused you forget about everything else, it’s more like you’re so distracted you forget about everything else
Also I feel like hyperfocus wears you out, like you get to the end and you’ve used up all your useful energy Like no making tomato soup isn’t that strenuous but I used All My Energy to make it because for some reason tomato soup was Very Important and now I exhausted because I used today’s allotted focus on one item
And at the end of a good flow of focus you’re tired, exhausted maybe, but you feel satisfied and like you accomplished what you set out to do, you’ve Done Something
I usually just feel confused, like why was making tomato soup so important again? What year is it? Why am I only wearing one shoe???
someone: haha you just want to know when you’re off the hook
me: hah
me: (actually i just need to allocate the right expectations and backlog of energy and make sure the rest of my day falls in good accordance with it so that i don’t feel time-crunched and propel myself into a hysteria because if i don’t know how long this thing lasts or when it ends i can’t possibly know when literally anything else starts and my entire life becomes an unraveled realm of anarchy with no rhyme or reason and how is that not terrifying to you)
me: hey how long will this take
someone: oh like twenty minutes
me: ok
*an hour later*
me: *clinging to every learned social skill i can think of with the desperate hope my distress and exhaustion doesn’t show*
someone: hey we’re almost done don’t be so crabby
me: *smiling* *internally screaming at this SENSELESS CHAOS*
someone: hey do you want to do [involving time-consuming thing]
me: hey that sounds fun! when were you thinking?
someone: oh we’re doing it right now
me: oh. like. now-now? like right now. like you want me to stop what i’m doing and get up and do this thing with you, suddenly, with thirty seconds of warning. now. like this second. immediately. now?
•buy toys/dolls/crayons
•play with Legos
•play old videogames/dress up games
•weave friendship bracelets
•watch cartoons
•use stickers
•draw pics of your favorite characters
If it makes you feel nice, do it.
Don’t even worry about what other people think, because it doesn’t matter–if it brings you happiness, it’s not “ridiculous”, or “immature”.
You deserve to enjoy yourself.
Let me share with you what I consider to be the most important less I’ve learned in my adult life:
“Growing up doesn’t mean you can’t have Zebra Cakes. Growing up simply means that, if you want to have Zebra Cakes, you buy them for yourself.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Bear?” Well, let me explain. For those of you who live outside of the US, this is a Zebra Cake:
It’s a little pre-packaged snack cake that is horribly cheap and junky and really not that great, but it is like manna from heaven to me. I fucking love these things. When I was a little kid growing up, my mom bought Zebra Cakes but once in a blue moon. They were intended to be put in mine and my siblings’ school lunches, but my brother and I would eat them whenever we wanted, so Mom just didn’t see the point. (They also used to be kind of expensive, at least for our family’s budget.) Needless to say, the coveted Zebra Cakes were a luxury for me, and were one of the tastes of my childhood.
Fast forward to my college years. I was living in an apartment with three other people, doing my own shopping and cooking. I was in the grocery store, picking up some stuff, and I happened to walk past a display of snack cakes. Among them were several boxes of Zebra Cakes.
I paused at this, chuckling to myself. Oh man. Zebra Cakes. I haven’t had those in years. I loved those when I was a kid. I reminisced happily and thought about how much I missed the taste of Zebra Cakes, then started to walk away.
And then I stopped dead.
Because I had realized that there was literally nothing stopping me from buying a box of Zebra Cakes. There was nothing stopping me from buying ten boxes of Zebra Cakes. If I wanted Zebra Cakes, I could have goddamn Zebra Cakes, because it was my money and my decision to make.
I put two boxes in my cart (they were 2 for $5) and never looked back.
Here’s the secret I learned that day: The idea of something being “just for kids” is, by and large, bullshit. What you do on your own adult free time with your own adult money is, by its very nature, adult stuff. It’s like comedian Eddie Izzard (who frequently performed his routines in drag) once said when someone asked about him wearing ‘women’s clothes’: “They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.”
I am 25 years old, and yesterday I bought myself a shark lunchbox. Look at it. Look at how awesome my lunchbox is.
Was this lunchbox intended to by bought for and used by a child? Yes. The tag said it was for ages 3 and up. But it was bought by and will be used by an adult, and anyone who thinks that’s wrong is probably just jealous that they don’t have the self-confidence to rock a shark lunchbox at 25.
So like. Being “mature” and “an adult” doesn’t mean you have to completely abandon the things that made you happy when you were younger. It just means that you may have to approach them in a different way.
It was inevitable that the neural network, having named all kinds of internet datasets, should turn its talents to naming cats.
And what an occasion! The AFK Cat Rescue of Huntsville, Alabama contacted me because they had an exceptionally adorable bunch of kittens (plus one magnificent Persian) who need names and homes. June is kitten season here in the USA, so shelters are inundated with new kittens right now, and AFK takes the very high-risk cases, kittens who are too small to survive in regular shelters, or who are sick or injured, or have neurological disorders.
To be sure, the AFK Cat Rescue’s kitten-naming game is strong. They’ve got a black and orange kitten pair named Shere Khan and Bagheera, and they have another pair of cats named Grindylow and Pooka. With their full list of the several hundred cat names they’ve used over the years, plus the list of several thousand cats registered in Toronto (thanks to Tumblr user @maverick-ornithography), I had comfortably enough to train a neural network with.
I fired up my trusty karpathy-char-rnn neural network framework, and sat down to watch it learn.
“Very good,” I said. “Coming right along. Nice work on Aarla, maybe not try so hard on Teaw Mos Tilypsronvynkor.” I said all this to myself, of course, because the neural network operates entirely without my input once training starts. I can shout “No, you fool!” at it all day if I like and it ignores me perfectly.
Soon, however, I began to notice that quite a few of these cats had last names, and sounded actually rather grand.
Jarlag Argon Mankith Cuttim Aeggerooy Jozga Andend of Karlans Irtenda of Tiyra Sittrobt Torg? Arten Sword Lord Magian Welu-the Manwys Parihen the Thawk Haldir of the Saleword Barga Mr. Yetheract Belfine Bracken Belis Goodbrook Bentone Ballywood Grim Wyyne Gorihand Molgo
I had, as it turned out, accidentally trained the neural network on another dataset, a list of character names from Tolkien, George R. R. Martin, C. S. Lewis, Robert E Howard, and Terry Pratchett (sent in by reader Thomas Pugh).
AFK Cat Rescue, however, decided to roll with it. First neural network kitten: Parihen the Thawk!
Parihen the Thawk: This guy was surrendered to an animal shelter after he hitched a ride in the engine of a car. He had a dislocated leg but it’s healing well with rest. He’s shy, tiny and misses his bff who is in the hospital right now for her much worse injuries. He’s got a lot of energy and loves to show off his belly.
I finally got the neural network training on the proper dataset, but I was worried when, by the time I went to bed it was producing literally the following names over and over:
Hurter Hurler Hunty Hurty Hunter Hurker
Some who are not so fond of cats may argue that these are in fact the best cat names. Fortunately for the AFK Cat Rescue, the names did eventually become more suitable. I present to you:
Jexley Pickle – This little girl is a hoot and a half. She’s full of energy, bounce and comedy. She loves to nurse on ear lobes and finger tips. She’s about 6 weeks old and was found after being chased up a tree by a dog.
Mag Jeggles – When you touch him he rattles from head to tail with purrs. He’s so sweet. He was simply too young to be made available for adoption, and was rescued from a shelter that could not care for him.
Snox Boops – He was in a room with a lot of kittens that were too small to place up for adoption and even much smaller than the others in the room. When you pick him up he capsizes in your hands and starts purring. He’s got a huge voice and a huge demand for love and attention.
Mumcake – She was brought into a shelter as a stray, but she was too young for adoption and if she wasn’t pulled by rescue she would have been subject for euthanasia. She’s adorable, loving, outgoing and shoots sunshine right out of her butt. (Sunshine ejection not shown; you have AFK’s word for it.)
Tilly Mapper – This little girl also took a ride in a car engine and her rear leg was nearly completely severed as a result. She’s been stitched up but she’s had an infection set in. She is only around 8 weeks old and she’s in very poor body condition from having tried to make it on the streets. We hospitalized her yesterday and she’s doing much better. We hope to have her back to foster home by Friday.
Big Wiggy Bool – He is a doll-faced persian that was surrendered to a kill shelter when his family could not take him on their cross country move. He’s five years old and has obviously been doted on. He’s super affectionate, very easy going and a talker! He’s been recently groomed and trimmed up by Robyn Warner with Goin to the Dogs and Cats Mobile Grooming Service. And he loves belly rubs. Rubbing that fluffy, soft belly is an experience so wonderful it can only be discussed in breathless whispers.
Photos of the above cats by volunteer Amy Harrell.
And, since it IS kitten season, the neural network is happy to provide a list of cat names (some more usable than others), for use in naming cats, computer servers, firstborn, etc.
Jeckle Elbent Jenderina Roober Snorp Snox Boops Cylon Sookabear Frere Sonney Mrow Jexley Pickle Marper Foppin Toby Booch Snowpie Big Wiggy Bool Macha Boo Mr Whinkles Timble Macfallon Machaka Licky Cat Mr Bincheh Macnaw Maxy Fay Tim Hike Mr Gruffles Grips Liony Oli Lingo Lingley Conkie Lasley Goo Mr Took Linky Marvish Mag Jeggles Corko Maggin Mcguntton Mara Tatters Mr Tiggie Mr. Skuffles Mr. Hinkles Mush Jam Tilly-Mapper Mr. Jubble Mumcake Muppin Mr O
i had a really fucking weird dream where homestuck was a musical. like. a Broadway musical. and i went to see it and all i really remember is that 1) the opening number was called “everybody dies” and 2) bro strider was inexplicably played by shia labeouf, who did an interpretive dance scene with a smuppet that lasted roughly seven minutes. it was uncomfortable for everyone involved
what do you mean “inexplicably” that’s exactly how it would go down
I’m pretty sure snoop dogg was aimless renegade? honestly it was an experience
like the stage was essentially four room in the beginning and every time John would get a notification on pesterChum the particular room of whoever was messaging him would light up and you could see Jade Dave or Rose. when the trolls did their thing (it was early on), you could just hear the disembodied yelling of Karkat. Rose had a dramatic monologue that ended with mom physically pulling her away from her empty suicide threat. bec was just some guy in a fursuit. shia laBro passionately ripped off his shirt before kicking dave’s ass. lil cal was played by Ellen Degeneres(?)
do you have a medium to talk to because the more you talk about this dream the more it sounds like you’re spirit channeling andrew hussie and i’m concerned
don’t get me started about the medium bro
also when the trolls were introduced the lusii were these freakish jim henson monstrosities but honestly the best part was the felt. like. the actual composition of music was beautiful, and the choreography for the dance numbers was sublime.
Dave also kept trying to sing but was continually interrupted by Bro Shia, terezi’s echoing ululations, and his own self doubt. once he finally had his moment his voice soared through the theater, only to come to an abrupt end as he was drowned in hot puppet ass.
now that I think about it, dadbert was definitely nic cage, which was confusing as fuck because John kept talking about how Greatly He Was Caged By Nic while his father stood by. it was uncomfortable
idk man, it’s been like a reoccurring lucid nightmare for the past week, but the sb&hj sequences were performed by acrobats above the actual stage, who looked dangerously inebriated and probably needed immediate hospitalization (they were also narrated by dave and a bunch of dissonant recordings of the cast? what the fuck man. what a visionary)
i honestly don’t know what to focus on here because i’m wheezing and snorting right now but
Dave also kept trying to sing but was continually interrupted by Bro Shia, terezi’s echoing ululations, and his own self doubt.
was dave … was dave’s self doubt an actual part in the play
shIT I thought I answered earlier but apparently not. yes, daves self conscious is just a shitty cardboard cutout of zac efron wearing sunglasses who offers sage advice like “no one loves you”. he’s voiced by zac efron.
yknow I forgot to note this but vriska has a lot of really aggressive musical numbers that make everyone visibly uncomfortable, mainly bc they’re unprovoked and don’t. make sense. like its canon but only to an extent.
also I’m p sure that mom and dad /almost/ share a heartfelt duet–like there’s soft piano music and they look into each other’s eyes–but then Jack noir, fursuit edition, kills them. on that note, when rose goes grimdark it sounds like the Dresden dolls met born this way era lady gaga and then murdered each other while a thirteen year old descends from the rafters, hissing like a motherfucking snake on a plane
btw “sICK FIRES” is a rap off with cello featuring the talents of yo yo ma himself
“#i’m tired” “#why do you keep reblogging this”
because it’s amazing
that’s objective but I’m just happy that people are enjoying this. like the tags are so nice and it feels pretty rad to know people are laughing at my hideous reoccurring nightmare musical extravaganza
FYI there is a track called “flight of the bifurcated asshole/rest in peixes” and y’all know EXACTLY what it’s about
i hope youre all lying and hyping your cv/resume’s up
i have never gotten an interview and not been offered a job position after it
I mean lets be honest if everyone else is gassing theirs up like no tomorrow and you’re being as honest as you can who th are the recruitment team going to be more interested in
There’s people working in my banks head office with me WITH MUCH MORE EXPERIENCE than me BUT ARE GETTING PAID LESS
we’re doing the exact same job role
the point I’m trying to make here is if you’ve handled finances for a company you’re now what i would call a treasurer my g, if you’ve done admin work you are now a secretary (or as I’ve put Management secretary)
you help some kid with his homework? you’re a private tutor.
keep your bullets points for the job role as concise and important sounding as possible AND ALWAYS EMPHASIS THAT YOURE A TEAM PLAYER IF YOURE GOING TO WORK IN A TEAM.
go into that interview room and get your story straight the night before and remember that interviews are two way conversatons yes they might be grilling you but at the end of it make sure to grill them BACK. do you have any hesitations about my qualifications? my suitability for the job? any feedback on my cv? how long have you been working at this company? do you like it here? whats the work environment like?
I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS GET THE SAME FEEDBACK WHEN THEY GET BACK IN TOUCH WITH ME
“ive never been asked those questions before” / “you were one of the strongest candidates”
throughout the interview emphasise that youre about progression, that you want more responsibilities than you did at your previous job, tell them the hours here are more suitable for me than my last ones were, AND WHEN IT COMES TO SALARY NEGOTIATION its all about continuity. tell them again that it boils down to progression. make up a reasonable figure for how much you were paid in your last role (do your research for how much the industry youre applying to or the role youre applying for pays, base it on that) tell them you expect more than you were previously paid. do not give them a figure. progression is your primary focus, tell them if youre progressing youre happy. leave it at that.
LIE THROUGH YOUR TEETH AND GET THAT MONEY
I had an interview yesterday, at the place I’ve been temping, where I busted out the “is there anything about my skills or background that makes you concerned about my fit for this job” question for the first time.
Neither of my supervisors had never gotten it before either. They had to think for a while, and then it turned into them telling me how great I am and what they love about me.
This stuff is real. I would also say: none of it is lying. This is taking experience that you normally downplay and write off, and putting it in accurate words they’ll understand.
It’s hacking the capitalist system. Why ISN’T helping a kid with homework “tutoring”, when the only thing missing is a paycheck?
It’s especially important for anyone who isn’t a cis white man, because many of us are so thoroughly trained to feel like we are not good enough.
Privilege tells people they can fake it, and that they’re good enough just as people and can learn the skills on the job. Abuse and oppression tell people they aren’t good enough as people and that even their high skills are probably below average, and that unless they had the specific job title or were using certain skills officially, nobody will think it counts.
The goal is to at least fake the confidence of a privileged person, to give the employer a chance at seeing the skills that you’ve been trained to undervalue.
I would also say to answer any query of “Have you done [X small task] before?” with “I have, but it’s been a while.” Or, “I have, but it was a slightly different program.”
100% THEY WILL GLADLY WALK YOU THROUGH EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW, and I stress ‘gladly’ because claiming prior knowledge boosts their confidence in your abilities and any slips you make are already covered by your caveat.
blackstoic may have deactivated their account but this advice is fucking gold and all y’all looking for jobs or who think you might one day need to look for a new job PRINT THIS SHIT OUT AND STAPLE IT TO THE WALL.
What is The Curious Incident of The Dog in the Night-Time?
It’s the heartwarming story of Christopher Boone, a disabled teenager whose father convinces him that his mother is dead before killing the neighbor’s dog.
Ros Hayes, National Theatre’s Head of Access, argues that since Christophe Boone only says he has behavioral problems, every single possible interpretation the audience can have of the character is valid. This vagueness allows the company to profit from the public’s interest in autism without taking responsibility for how they represent it.
Despite the creators’ non-committal and contradictory claims about Christopher’s neurology, reviews of the play regularly empathize his alleged autism. If they really wanted to, the National Theater could surely put an end to that. On the same token, theatre critics owe it to the autistic community to investigate the murky background of Curious Incident and acknowledge how real autistics feel about it.
How do real autistic feel about The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time?
Many hate it.
They hate it because Christopher Boone embodies some of the most stigmatizing myths about their condition. Christopher teaches mainstream audiences that autistics are violent, are incapable of empathy, and that autistics are so stressful to around that their parents are more likely to separate. These are the myths that fuel bullying, discrimination and darker forms of abuse. And that’s not even getting into his fondness for knives and apocalyptic fantasies.
The following is a list of complaints about Curious Incident from autistic readers.
Elizabeth Bartmess: ‘The book normalizes abuse, presents the autistic protagonist as responsible for it, and suggests that he is not harmed by much of it.’
Gyasi Burkes-Abbott: ‘Mark Haddon’s Popularity and Other Curious Incidences in My Life as an Autistic.’
Richard Cooper: ‘It is by no means a seminal work on autism. And it isn’t about a boy with Asperger’s.’
Dean Betz: ‘Having just seen Curious Incident, I can agree with author Mark Haddon’s assessment that he knows little about autism.’
Eric Y. Chen: ‘Warning: This book will not help you understand real autistics.’
Fission Mailure: ‘No matter how technically strong something is, it’s still worthy of a degree of revulsion if it has carved out its fame by, in essence, exploiting and spreading stereotypes about an already exploited group of people.’
Ellen Moody: ‘Mark Haddon’s novel is in fact a cruel and hollow caricature of an Aspergers person.’
Man Called True: ‘He’s a poor rip-off of Dustin Hoffman inRain Man in kid form.’
Amanda Forest Vivian: ‘One of the most popular books in the world is about an Autistic character who doesn’t care about people and wishes that everyone else in the world would die.’
Sara Barret: ‘Can you imagine how hard it is for someone with autism to read? It feels like I’m basically being told that no one will ever love me because of my autism.’
Neuroatypicality: ‘People in my year laughed at the protagonist, Christopher Boone, because he seems to have some mental disorder or disability. Try and recall every single ableist slur or insult you know. Now imagine you’ve been struggling with your mind for a while, even focusing in your class is trouble enough, and you hear all those slurs and insults.’
Penny Gotch: ‘I saw the words of doom: “As good as Mark Haddon’s ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time”. And I knew I’d hate it.’
Amazon has a crop of one-star reviews written by autistics. CEsayers writes ‘If you’re looking to understand what autism really is, do not read this novel.’ Here’s a curated collection of autistic reviews from Amazon.
This is another collection of autistic complaints, this time from Tumblr.
Who Let The Dogs Out? is a parody that applies Haddon’s approach to research to the man himself.
And it’s not just autistics who are uneasy about Curious Incident.
Ray Jobling: ‘These are the stereotypes that people with AS hate the most – Rain Man and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time.’
Simon Baron-Cohen: ‘It carries with it a slight risk of misrepresentation. You could come away with the wrong conclusion.’
Greg Olear: ‘What I find objectionable is that [Haddon] seems unaware of — or, worse, indifferent toward — the fact that he has made both his name and his fortune exploiting the Asperger’s community.” And in Chronogram: ‘He helped establish and perpetuate an extremely negative stereotype about Asperger’s. He calls this “writing fiction.” I call it “being an asshole.”’
But what about the play?
There’s an excellent Twitter discussion about the show, where it was panned by actual autistics.
The controversy over whether an iconically autistic character should be played by an autistic teenager or some neurotypical has been covered by Howlround, The Village Voice, The Mighty and The Clyde Fitch Report. Someone even wrote a petition, and although the text was deleted you can still read the comments. Chavisory has the best take on the situation, arguing that it is the writing, not the casting, that is usually the source of representation problems.
In May 2017, Syracuse Stage and Indiana Repertory Theater cast autistic actor Mickey Rowe as Christopher in their production of the play.
What should I read instead?
If you want to read about autism, you should read writings by autistics. Lots of it is freely available online.
queerhomestuck 