Idk about you but when I’m down in the gutter, junk food is a big comfort item. Junk food is hella expensive tho, and sometimes even when you have money you just don’t have the strength to go pick it up. Anyway I literally just winded this and it didn’t make me feel better but it distracted me and filled my stomach so I might as well share
What u need
Onions. Doesn’t have to be fresh onions. I literally just grabbed a bag of frozen cut up onions from my freezer
Milk
Flour
Salt
Oil (I went w olive oil)
Optional: some spices (I used curry and turmeric cuz I like orange spices)
A frying pan
At least, like, three bowls or something (yeah you’ll have dishes to do but they can wait can’t they)
Now the process
Dump ur onions in the biggest bowl you have because these fuckos take space. Literally that bowl will just be used to keep the unprepared onions tho so if you don’t want to make a lot I guess it doesn’t have to be that big
In a tiny bowl dump some milk. Idk like, three tablespoons or something? I’m winding this I told u
In the third bowl and that one has to be p big, dump your flour (also 3 tbsp? I guess), the salt (do I need to give you measurements for the salt) and the spices u fancy. Mix that shit together with a spoon or something. I put a lot of spice so my flour turned out orange
In the frying pan, dump your oil. Not too much bc it’ll boil and you’ll burn yourself. Heat it but don’t heat it TOO MUCH either bc same, you’ll boil yourself alive. A boiling oil burn hurts a lot and the pain lasts, trust me
Now you take some of the onions in ur first bowl………. And you drop them in the milk. Let em soak but not too long bc ew, who wants milk flavored onions? Or onion flavored milk. Idk I didn’t drink the milk after using it I hate milk
You better have washed your hands beforehand because now you’re going to grab those milky onions and drop them in your flour mix. Mix that up with your hands because if you use a spoon you’ll suffer.
When the onions are coated in milk n flour, put that shit in the pan and FRY TF OUT OF IT
Now you wait
Don’t let it burn tho
Put your fried onions in a last recipient, if you’re weak you can put them on a paper towel first to absorb the oil I guess.
You’re good to go. Enjoy your fried onions. I guess it’d be good to let them rest for a little while to let them dry and become crunchier but tbh I scarfed them down so hard that I didn’t have the time to take a pic
You can make a variety of plant-based “milks” by blending raw nuts, seeds, and grains with water. Almonds, cashews, macadamias, Brazil nuts, hazelnuts, pecans, pistachios, coconuts, soybeans, hemp seeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, sacha inchi seeds, flaxseeds, quinoa, millet, rice, and oats can all be liquefied into delicious milks. Homemade milks are fresh, free of additives and preservatives, and you can completely control the integrity of the product: the quality of the ingredients, the sugar levels, and the texture.
“Milking” raw nuts, seeds, and grains is quick and easy. Here’s how to do it:
SOAK nuts, seeds, or grains by placing in a bowl with filtered water and a pinch of sea salt. Soaking removes enzyme inhibitors, improves digestibility and nutrient bio-availability, and helps everything blend more easily. Rinse thoroughly and drain.
BLEND with filtered water. A high-speed machine like a Vitamix is preferable to really pulverize the mixture. A 1:3 ration of nuts/seeds/grains to water generally yields good results. Start with 2 cups of water and gradually add more water until you get the taste and consistency you like. Blend for about 1 minute. This can warm the mixture. Chill in the fridge, or blend with ice to consume immediately.
SWEETEN the milk to taste with pitted dates, stevia, maple syrup, agave, coconut sugar, etc. You can also add 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract to boost flavors, and 1 tablespoon of NON-GM soy or sunflower lecithin and coconut butter to emulsify ingredients. You can also jazz up your milks with raw cacao, fruit, cinnamon, nutmeg, or anything else that tickles your fancy.
STRAIN Some foods like cashews, macadamias, and pecans yield smooth milks. However, with most other foods, like almonds, you will get some texture. You can enjoy this fibrous milk, or strain it for a smoother, more commercial-style blend. Place a nut milk bag over a large container, pour the milk in, and gently squeeze the bag until all liquid has passed through. You can re-purpose the pulp as a body scrub by mixing with some coconut oil, or dehydrate it for use in cookies, crusts, and crackers.
ENJOY Most milks will keep in the fridge in a sealed container for two or three days. Freeze any leftovers in ice cube trays for use later. Homemade milks can separate when stored. Just shake or blend again before drinking.
Basic Plant-Based “Milk”
1 cup nuts, grains, or seeds 3 cups filtered water 3 Tbs. plant based sweetener (such as maple syrup, raw agave, coconut sugar, or 3-4 pitted dates, or stevia to taste) 1 Tbs. coconut butter (optional, for texture) 1 Tbs. Non-GM soy or sunflower lecithin (optional, to emulsify and add creaminess) 1 tsp. natural vanilla extract Pinch of Celtic sea salt (optional, to bring out flavors)
1. Soak nuts, grains, or seeds for desired time. See suggested times below. 2. Drain nuts, grains, or seeds. Rinse, and then place in blender with 3 cups filtered water. Add remaining ingredients, and blend on high until fully liquefied, about 1 minute. 4. If consuming immediately, add a few ice cubes to cool milk. 5. Strain with a nut milk bag, if desired. Milk will keep for two days stored in a sealed glass jar in the fridge.
Makes 3-4 cups milk.
(Originally by Tess Masters.)
Soaking time varies by hardness of nut or seed. Here are some more specific guide times for soaking the grains, nuts and seeds (with sprouting times when making sprouts):
wow i sure am thirsty for some apple beverage oh boy
prices you can trust, products you can’t
Graphic Design has gone so minimalistic it’s morphed into Uncanny Nondescript. My brain tells me there is apple juice in that container, but my heart feels fear.
btw… important PSA: cutting off the mold on the surface of food does nothing. you can only see the spores on the surface, but mold itself has spread and grown roots into the food. by the time you can actually *see* the spores, that piece of food is completely full of it. youre still eating mold.
many of which are poisonous and have been shown to cause cancer. youre not even supposed to sniff it, because that can get spores into your lungs. like if you look up the health and safety guidelines for mold they barely stop short of telling you to put on a hazmat suit.
like produce is okay as long as you cut around it at least an inch, but cooked foods? you gonna die. stop eating mold people
does that include bread
yes
it’s been linked to before but this is a good solid source
There’s a creativity variable I can set when the network is generating new recipes, and when I set it low, it comes up with its best guess at the most quintessential recipe titles:
When I tell it to get creative, things get even weirder.
Beef Soup With Swamp Peef And Cheese Chocolate Chops & Chocolate Chips Crimm Grunk Garlic Cleas Beasy Mist Export Bean Spoons In Pie-Shell, Top If Spoon and Whip The Mustard Chocolate Pickle Sauce Whole Chicken Cookies Salmon Beef Style Chicken Bottom Star * Cover Meats Out Of Meat Completely Meat Circle Completely Meat Chocolate Pie Cabbage Pot Cookies Artichoke Gelatin Dogs Crockpot Cold Water
I want Dirk to work at a cheesy Texas-themed restaurant with a gift shop that sells belt buckles emblazoned with the texas flag and shot glasses with cheesy quotes on them and I want him to hate his job so much as he’s forced to wear a cowboy hat and normal shades because his boss won’t let him wear his normal ones
John and all his friends come in and Dirk seriously considers quitting right then and there.
Jade orders the big challenge plate, where you have to eat a 72 oz steak in an hour and she’s done in 25 minutes and gets her picture taken. Dave buys a shirt that says “I’m ready to kick some Tex-ASS” and refuses to take it off meanwhile John has somehow climbed on top of the two-story giant cow outside of the restaurant and Rose is taking pictures of him from the ground.
queerhomestuck 