O H M Y GO DS THE DREAM THANK YOU *vibrates*
i’m doing all of them under a read more (i think it’s possible to read more asks now?) since it will might get a bit long
[Send me three names + a number…]
1. fuck, marry, kill: gamzee, kurloz, GHB
marry Gamzee, he’s a good enough egg
kill GHB he’s a Serious threat?? also Big lol. which leaves fuck Kurloz. which, yeah fuck Kurloz but also fuck Kurloz
2. marry, cuddle, sleep with: nep, meulin, disciple
OH NO that’s so hard uu u uhh i can see all three of them in all three choices so hmm… maybe marry Meulin, cuddle Nepeta, sleep with Disciple? it’s the best of all good choices
3. fuck, take a bullet for, murder: fef, meenah, the condesce
oh that’s a lot easier. take a bullet for Feferi (i love her she’s Pure. my daughter), murder the Condesce (not the easiest thing to do but i’ll manage), fuck Meenah (bc honestly i’m at least a little gay for Meenah….. anyway)
4. adopt, be adopted by, marry: sol, tuna, psiioniic
adopt Mituna probably bc he keeps falling off his darn skateboard and probably needs someone to watch over him. then marry Sollux and be adopted by the Psiioniic bc come on now that’s just Logic i’ll be an in-law if i marry Sollux so basically adopted already B)
5. kill, betray, have on your zombie apocalypse team: karkles, kankri, sufferer/signless
have Karkat on my zombie apocalypse team THIS IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE. i mean yeah the signless knows how to fight and all surely but i’m still taking Karkat bc he’s less likely to implement Heroic but Deadly Plans, which i could totally see the Signless doing. not having grown up on Alternia, Kankri would be about as useful as soggy bread in case of a zombie apocalypse
i. don’t want to betray anyone but uh. probably betray the Signless? and kill Kankri but like as annoying as he is i don’t want to kill him but them’s the breaks sorry dude
6. seduce, steal from, serenade: aradia, damara, handmaid
seduce Aradia bc i have a huge crush on Aradia okay, then serenade the Handmaid bc maybe she’ll let me escape with my life if i sing well enough and also she probably doesn’t get people serenading her a lot
i do not want to steal from Damara she’s had enough shit happen to her but it’s the Choice i am left with. maybe i can just steal something small like “oh we’re eating fries together OH NO I STOLE ONE FROM YOUR PLATE” something like that o:
7. fuck, marry, kill: kan, porrim, dolorosa
OH NO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO KILL ONE OF THEM D:
marry Kanaya probably bc she’s so good n also i’d never go without Good Comfy Clothes
fuck Porrim she’s Prety and that leaves us with kill Dolorosa i’m super sorry :c
8. marry, cuddle, sleep with: vris, aranea, mindfang
EEEEEeeeee okay probably cuddle Vriska bc she needs like 88,888,888 hugs approximately?? then i guess… marry Mindfang? i wouldn’t feel like i can Trust Aranea with things and that won’t do in a marriage. whereas if i marry Mindfang i get to say my wife is a pirate and that’s cool right?? and she’s not like… going to hide things she’s upfront about most things she does
which leaves sleep with Aranea o:
9. fuck, take a bullet for, murder: tav, rufioh, summoner
TAKE A BULLET FOR TAVROS that’s like a no-brainer?? then probably fuck the Summoner… and murder Rufioh, by default (i’m sorry Rufioh)
bonus: a drawing i did of a shitpost of tavros the tank engine to thank you for reading up until here

