okay allow me to get into a HUGE fucking rant (about college stuff)

whoever thought it was a good idea to have us read 7 books (approx. 1100 pages) in German for the equivalent of 24 hours of class? i don’t know who they are, and that’s a good thing because currently? i am soooo ready to fucking murder them

like… do they not realise. we won’t have time to do anything but superficial stuff in class. that’s not the point of a literature class. that’s not what i enjoy about literature.

not to mention, of course we have basically 4 days of break between semester 5 finals and semester 6 classes. only 4 days. which means that i’ll have to get started on reading all of this at the same time i start studying for S5 finals or i’ll never be ready before the semester starts, instead of waiting until after finals like i did the past two years. as if finals weren’t already a shitton of work

what pisses me off the most is that, sure! these books will be interesting and heck maybe i’ll enjoy reading them!! but having that amount of work is just fucking surreal and totally ruins this for me like…. buddies pals mates can we fucking stop and think for a second that maybe students need a fucking break that is an actual break and not frantic reading stuff for classes that won’t even be that much use??

and before someone pops in like ‘but abby! you don’t have to read all of this right now! you can wait until the semester begins!’

buddy. i have 30 hours of class + 15-20 hours of schoolwork at home in a week, plus everything that goes with living alone like… grocery shopping, cleaning, and stuff, while being super autistic and super mentally ill and having Regular Breakdowns™
oh AND i’ll also have two books to read for english lit + one for german philosophy, which constitude about the max amount of reading i can stomach during the semester in addition to all the rest i mentioned previously

like i am literally at the very limit of my ability and know from experience i literally cannot push myself harder or i will break beyond repair. as it is it’s already a fucking balancing act and i should probably get paid for this because wow a+ management in crisis skills here

talking about money. at least my parents pay for basically everything which is like… thank fuck at least that’s one thing i don’t have to worry about

‘but abby! you don’t have to get good marks all the time! you can get your degrees with less work than you’re doing now!’

a. we do not have the same standards;
b. no matter how much i protest to the contrary, it very much seems that my entire self-worth is based on how well i do in school and i am not fucking ready to let everything go to shit grades-wise (the last time i told myself “ok fuck it i’m not studying more than i can actually stomach” and my grades dropped as a result, it did not End Well and like… Not This Shit Again Thank You)
c. i do not have time to work on that “bad grades? shit mate guess you don’t deserve nice things” issue so i’ll just like wait until i’m out of school and i don’t actually get grades bc it’ll probably be easier then

it’s just one more semester and i’m going to fucking make it, u just watch, but like… … jesus fucking christ smh real hard at the college administration that is a lot of unneeded stress added to what i already get and basically i just want a fucking BREAK between my semesters instead of a measly 4 days + additional reading

rant over i guess, anyway back to homework now i haven’t got that much left to do today + if you read till here i’d appreciate if you liked the post if you can