musicprincess655:

doughfox:

exhausted-trashgoddex:

when it takes you a while to process what someone is saying and you realize they asked you a question

I cannot fucking believe I am drunk, past midnight, and tumblr is throwing fucking saturated fatty-acids at me

Listen here friendo I didn’t sit through a year of organic chemistry for you to come into my house and call a carboxylic acid a saturated fatty acid you respect that hexadecanoic acid

weequaypirates:

marvel-menace:

weequaypirates:

iron man: Well kid for starters if you want to be an Avenger you’re going to need to have an actual, professional e-mail address

peter “xXarachnidsGrip_88888888@gmail.com” parker: but i do, mr stark

peter, standing on the ceiling at 3am t posing: vriskakin

tony, sobbing: i dont know what that fucking means

peter: well i guess this means we’re all in cahoots now, huh. cahoooooooots

dr strange: dunno why you said that word twice like that. but technically yes

magic-and-moonlit-wings:

daughter-of-prospero:

broadwayz:

a midsummer night’s meme

my name is Puck
and wen its nite
or faerie-kind
is in a fite
the humans run
i shout wyth glee
“lord what fools
these mortals be”

This is what Shakespeare would have wanted.

tockthewatchdog:

i don’t wear glasses and until i looked at the comments i thought these were from som weird old video game lmaooo

otters11:

Alphonse was the real hero of FMA.

Is it called Fullmetal Edchemist??? No??? Didn’t think so.

gummygomamon:

nebula-cnidaria:

unseeliequeen:

tawnks:

gifak-net:

Wisconsin White Deer Surprised by his own Antlers Shedding

aw hell no

Deer, although graceful and lovely, are fucking morons.

Who among us isn’t surprised when a part of our head flies off

As a southerner raised by rednecks, I can confirm that deer are adorable morons.

I’ve seen deer:

1.) Run from their own baby after it sneezed

2.) Run from a turkey that was chasing another turkey

3.) Run into the only tree in the middle of a field

4.) Run from ITSELF after IT sneezed

5.) Run circles around my house because a Mockingbird was imitating the wheezing sound deer use to verbally communicate a sense of unease

ghostqueenofthesun:

drackir:

weasowl:

20thcenturyvole:

probablybadrpgideas:

If Cthulhu can be summoned by humans who are so far beneath it, why can’t humans be summoned by ants?
The answer is they should be.

Well if a bunch of ants formed a circle in my house I’d certainly notice, try to figure out where they’d all come from, and possibly wreak destruction there.

That’s why knowing and correctly pronouncing the true name is so important to the ritual. Imagine how impossible it would be to not go take a look if the circle of ants started chanting your name.

And they’re like, you can’t leave because we drew a line made of tiny crystals – now you have to do us a favor.

And you’re like, let’s just see where this goes “yup, you got me… what’s the favor?”

and usually the favor is like, “kill this one ant for us” or “give me a pile of sugar” and you’re like… okay? and you do, because why not, it isn’t hard for you and boy is this going to be a fucking story to tell, these fucking ants chanting your name and wanting a spoonful of sugar or whatever.

And SOMEtimes you get asked for things you can’t really do, one of them, she’s like, “I love this ant but she won’t pay any attention to me, make me important to her” and you’re like… um? how? So you just kill every ant in the colony except the two of them, ta-da! problem solved! and the first ant is like *horrified whisper* “what have I done”

This is the best explanation for higher powers I’ve ever really heard.

ok but i love my gay ants

kinky-caeser-milan:

Me, flopping down on my bed: *in a muffled voice* gender is hard and girls are pretty

shork time

evolution-incarnate:

shork