what I mean by this is that being able to walk a little, being able to walk with consequences, that’s not the same as being able to walk (the end)
When people are denied wheelchairs because they can walk, an important thing is missed.
They can’t walk
yes, they can physically walk. That’s not what I mean.
What I mean is,
Can they walk to the store and back? Can they do so safely? Can they do so and still have energy left for the day? For the week?
Can they walk at home? yes? Ok, but does doing so leave them with enough energy to leave? To go to school, work, out with friends, on errands? Is it safe?
Can they walk long enough to go places, enjoy things, to do what they could do if they had mobility aids?
Yes, being able to walk, even a little, is different than not being able to walk at all.
But it’s not the same as being able to walk, without consequences, without fear of safety, for “long distances”
So when you deny someone mobility aids because they can still walk, because you want them to still walk, you’re missing something.
If they’re asking for mobility aids, their mobility is already limited. They’re already not walking as often because they can’t. Mobility aids won’t change that. But they can actually improve mobility, and allow for more opportunities to go out and be active.
kids who’ve been abused and had unwarranted, unpredictable anger frequently directed at them can get really preoccupied with how they draw boundaries as they get older. the persistent hope from childhood is that if they say it just right, and all their logic is perfectly sound, and their behavior is above reproach in every way, the other person might not get angry.
but 1) no one can be that perfect and shouldn’t have to be, and 2) entitled and abusive people are gonna get angry no matter what.
be reasonably polite when you draw a boundary, but most importantly, draw the boundary. accept that some people will be angry and use your energy to process your discomfort and self-soothe around that instead of futilely trying to avoid that outcome. also remember that healthy people will hear and honor your assertions.
people who manipulate with anger are rarely making an effort to be respectful of you, so why should you walk on eggshells with them? and people who do respect others’ boundaries won’t need a perfectly cogent treatise on why you want or don’t want this or that; your assertion will be enough.
queerhomestuck 