Tag: jade harley

aperfectexampleofsarcasm:

okay but, question: why are there all these posts about dirk not knowing how actual earth things tend to work when he was likely to actually TRY and learn things because dirks like that?? instead, i propose this:

jade harley, who pretty much was raised by a goddamn dog on an island in the middle of nowhere, who got all of her social interaction through an online messaging service and in her wild prospit dreams, AND THEN SPENT 3 YRS COMPLETELY ALONE ON A BOAT FLYING THRU SPACE, horrifies her friends regularly on earthc by her lack of knowledge of some stuff

shed know basic things like whats food and whats not since she presumably grew all her veg and hunted for her meat, but imagine the following:

• jade not understanding how loud it is normal to speak at and shouting all the time
• jade not understanding how to act, like, physically when shes around people!! when s it normal to touch them, when isnt it, that kind of thing
• jade having never worn makeup and done stuff like painting her nails so its all super foreign to her!!! all the girls + davepeta have a big sleepover and teach her how to apply eyeliner. she tries to user lipliner on her eyebrows
• jade only having had basic foodstuffs, has never tried a lot of actual… dishes. shes never even had frozen pizza. 
• jades voice being a super weird mix of accents because she ended up learning a lot of her speech online since, yknow, her only irl human interaction ended when her grandpa DIED. so she learns from things like different tv shows, etc
• jade eats with her mouth open and speaks with it full
• jade will bite her nails and leave the nail ‘clippings’ all over anyones sofa or floor
• jade, having never had a parent to tell her to “sit like a lady”, sits with her legs all akimbo even if shes wearing a dress or skirt because who the fuck cares

im no jade expert but i personally think this is good