prospitian-monarch:

terezi-discourse:

For day 1 of vrisktereziweek, please consider me and @prospitian-monarch‘s au where
Terezi and Vriska are massively famous competing rock stars who don’t actually
hate each other at all anymore and just find their media rivalry completely
hilarious.

The bitterness actually was real for a while, after they
broke up and Vriska ditched their underground indie duo to make it big as a
solo star and Terezi got into the business too, and for about a year they
genuinely meant it when they wrote thinly veiled mean songs about each other
and subtly (or unsubtly) badmouthed each other on talk shows and deliberately
booked venues across the street from each other to try and drown each other’s
music. But then the press started speculating about backstabbing and catfights
and which boys they were fighting over, and soon Terezi was sending Vriska
links to the worst articles and their friendship was back on track again, and
within a few months they were kissing backstage and wearing outrageous disguises
to go on dates together. They kept the public rivalry, though, because it was
too much fun to watch music writers on clickbait sites pick through every
little detail in their lyrics, and the whole theme was doing wonders for both
of their brands, and they hated to let down their fans! And so it continued, and
they continued having a blast.

Their fans can’t tell what the hell is up with them, but
both of their official fansites have forums just for theorizing about what the fuck
happened between them back in their Scourge Sisters days. People pore through
their lyrics looking for clues and post comments on lyric sites speculating on
the meaning of the songs. Both Terezi and Vriska have whole fleets of interns
who they hire solely to write scathing replies to people who make clueless
heterosexual comments on their youtube videos, or to post wild rumours about
the massive property damage caused last time the two had met in public.

Every time they go on an “incognito date” Terezi insists on
wearing shitty red plastic heart-shaped sunglasses and a giant red hat instead
of her trademark, ostensibly to hide her face but mostly because she loves how
horrified it makes everyone around them look. Vriska tries to look slightly
less like a celebrity by wearing baggy jackets and hoodies, but inevitably, at
least once a week, they’re recognized and asked for their autographs, and they
get a chance to showcase their ridiculous lying skills. Terezi’s favorite alibi
is to pretend to be a hapless law student who has no idea what they’re talking
about and wouldn’t dream of giving them her signature. Vriska, every single
time, signs as Spinneret Mindfang and claims to be a very devoted pirate
cosplayer.

At one point, they both released dramatic press statements
just a few weeks apart announcing that they were writing memoirs that would
contain all the juicy details of their rivalry. Then they both signed contracts
with Rose Lalonde, accomplished novelist, and gave her creative license to
ghostwrite whatever she wanted based only on what she knew about them
personally and her wildest Freudian speculations as to their psyches and
motivations. Both books were bestsellers, despite being wildly conflicting and filled
to the brim with purple prose.

Terezi had her publisher contact Vriska’s publisher to ask
if they could release the books side by side as some sort of omnibous, just so
that Vriska ignite some more controversy with an incendiary response. They
cuddled up in Terezi’s bed with their laptops and Vriska fired off eight angry
tweets about how she’d rather die than have her life story published alongside
Terezi’s. Terezi responded saying that Vriska was right to fear being compared
side by side, considering how atrociously boring and tasteless Vriska’s book
would look in comparison, and then they spooned while scrolling through the
resulting twitter war on Terezi’s phone. What can they say? Some people just
want to watch the world burn, and the reunited Scourge Sisters are two of them.

ugh the Skype chats got lost because SKYPE IS DUMB but anyways i think we’d staged like, the flarp debacle but it was vriska ripping off one of aradia and tavros’ songs or something and terezi’s like “i wish to succeed… but at what cost.”  there was also this like, legal contract terezi drafted about how no one who signed with her could do anything to also sign with vriska!!! and vriska used like a blatantly copied version of the exact same contract but with all of terezi’s name scribbled away and replaced with her own.  #pick a side

(except for kanaya who’s probably like an amazing costume designer.  she gets a pass probably because she’s amazing and also their annoyed friend.)

THERE WAS ALSO THIS WHOLE CODA that had nothing to do with them being rock stars and was mostly dumb gay fluff but hey who can say no to dumb gay fluff???  not me

• ok so, rose and kanaya are together and married and have a cute tastefully decorated flat because they are Pro Adults.  also they have an adopted child whose probably roxy
• when roxy was a baby terezi and vriska came over to rose and kana’s house for dinner and something and they thought roxy was SUPER CUTE and they kept cooing over her until they just … essentially stole her
• like they just shoved her into terezi’s silly and gigantic trenchcoat (its a disguise!  she has to maintain her anonymity as an official famous person!) and climb out the window and go home
• they just will NOT give this baby back.  they aren’t very good at taking care of her either and vriska panics a lot because ROXY IS CRYING and she CANT DEAL
• finally after some terse texts exchanged with rose they work out a deal.  by “deal” i mean basically “a hostage exchange”
• this is the story of how terezi (and by extension vriska) became officially the person who’d gain custody of roxy if rose and kana tragically died
• rose drew the line at making it officially vriska.  dave is so salty even so!  HOW COULD YOU, ROSE.  VRISKA GETS CUSTODY OF ROXY BEFORE ME, YOUR OWN SWEET AND RESPONSIBLE BROTHER.  “responsible?” rose says.  “more than vriska fucking serket,” says dave.
• probably at least once when she’s a teen roxy runs away from home to live with her cool aunts terezi and vriska.

uhhhhh @vriskatereziweek @terezi-discourse