37q:

the identity politics prevalent in neurodivergence discourse – and even any social interaction with neurodivergence – is like, pretty clearly a perpetuation of hegemonic structures of normality. we still cling to the right to prioritize and privilege certain thoughts & behaviors as Good And Correct, but we can make an exception for neurodivergence as long as we realize that its neurodivergence, describe it as neurodivergence, and identify the specific neurodivergence. 

show me where your compassion for neurodivergent people is when theres no discernible difference between a stereotypical teenager’s unproductive laziness & emotionlessness and depression. show me where your compassion for neurodivergent people is when someones having a meltdown and you scold them for being a brat but their sensory issues arent taken seriously by you or anyone around them, or theyre only taken seriously when they seek professional diagnosis. show me where your compassion for neurodivergent people is when you only empathize or seek to understand someones explosion of anger when its explanations has capital letters or falls “within reason”.

what im trying to say is that if we deem some forms of neurodivergence excusable and others inexcusable, or some deserving of compassion and others not deserving of compassion, its blatantly obvious that its being used to maintain the discursive boundaries that capitalism uses to preserve a well-disciplined class of subjects. the ways that we rely on discourse in its systems of formalized signification do nothing but preserve the unlivable & alienating conditions our society is formed under. if we cant extend compassion towards thoughts and behaviors that would essentially qualify as neurodivergence but arent identified as such, then our compassion towards neurodivergence is nothing but exception-making, an inauthentic and insincere kind of compassion.

Social Skills Are Honestly a Creepy Cultural Construct that Deserves to be Destroyed

walltowalltitties:

walltowalltitties:

walltowalltitties:

Yes…it kinda is…whoah…the realization is hitting me…

Like there is a Right Way to Communicate, and if you don’t communicate in that way, you’re wrong/lacking/whatever.
Even if the way you communicate is effective, if it’s not The Right Way, it’s wrong/not good enough/whatever.

And there is a Right Way ™ to react to things, Correct™ emotions to have, and Appropriate™ facial expressions.
And if you react the Wrong Way™, have Incorrect™ emotions, or have Inappropriate™ facial expressions, you’re bad or wrong or something.
Like it is assumed everyone thinks, feels, and reacts the same which is ????????
It is not as simple as that.

theunitofcaring:

I’ve been a part of a lot of advocacy groups with a tendency to fall into pessimism traps. 

A pessimism trap is where something good has happened, but it’s not cool to be excited that something good happened, so everyone starts trying to temper their joy with cynical comments about how it doesn’t mean much anyway and how it’ll really make things worse. Coming up with more cynicism and more biting clever reasons to feel bad are socially rewarded. Being authentically happy and enthusiastic marks you as naive and thoughtless. So soon people suppress all their happy feelings and dig deeper for more sources of pessimism, far more than the situation merits, and pretty soon everyone feels miserable and dispirited about their own significant achievement!

I don’t really know how to fix this, but I have noticed a few things that seem to work as counters. 

The first is a community agreement that optimism is not inherently naive. Joy is not naive. Happiness is not naive. Just like no one likes reading stories that are relentlessly negative – we need small victories to bring us along in real life. It is okay to be sincerely and authentically thrilled when things go right. 

There’s lots in the world to be miserable about. But it’s terrible advocacy to try to force yourself to feel miserable to a degree that’s appropriate to the challenges you’re facing. You’ll be more effective when you’re happy, so why not try to be happy? Yeah, even though people are dying. Yeah, even though people are ignorant and cruel. Yeah, even though the problems that motivated you to get into advocacy are real and urgent and senseless and pressing. You can believe all of those things and still not be obligated to be miserable.

The second is a community agreement to let everyone else have their emotions. “How dare you feel happy when” and “how dare you complain when” are both really common phrases in the day after a major achievement. Let’s stop it with both of them. People get to feel happy; don’t challenge them or suggest that it makes them shallow or argue that if they’re happy they don’t care about others. But people get to not feel happy; we can’t fix pessimism by ordering forced optimism. We can fix the dynamics that let pessimism take over, that make people feel silly for being happy or worthless because they can’t react to every problem in the world with appropriate anger. But we do that by validating all emotions, including joy. Not by validating joy at the exclusion of frustration or anger. 

Why Tumblr people are ‘crazy’:

snow-anne:

snow-anne:

While this post is a tad long, I hope you will lend me your ear,
because I think it is important that people understand why ‘Social Justice Warriors’, minorities and other Tumblrites can come across as overly angry or sensitive to some. I will give an example of what happens when minorities speak out against those who have power over them, in a non-anonymous, face-to-face setting. While this example is about trans people, it can easily be applied to most other minorities.

Today my brother came over for dinner. He brought up a trans woman who was not ‘passable’ and referred to her as “that man” and “he”. I’m a trans woman myself and couldn’t let him misgender a sister, so I politely corrected him. Instead of apologizing, he justified his mistake with “she looked like a man and didn’t put in enough effort”. I easily picked his words apart, having had these arguments countless times, and then asked whether he would call me a man if I were less conventionally female-looking? He answered negatively, but said the lady in question didn’t make any effort to make her voice sound more feminine. Wanting him to realize how difficult voice retraining is, I asked my brother to give me his best female voice right then and there…

He looked legitimately terrified, kind of the reaction you get when you ask a guy to hold your purse for a second. Then, the anger came. He unleashed a screaming tirade of excuses, red herrings and accusations. Trying to keep this from escalating, I carefully walked towards him with my hands in a calming gesture, hoping to calm him down. He placed his fist against my nose, yelling “one step closer, I dare you”, I froze and braced myself, having been there before. But, I got lucky, he stormed off with an angry “fine, I hate transgenders you’re all men!”.

This is why trans women are ok with you saying ‘tranny’ around them. This is why trans people don’t mind you calling them by their old name and pronouns. This is why the trans people you know personally, aren’t like those ‘crazy’ ones on Tumblr.

When we stand up for ourselves, confront people with the power and privilege they hold over us, bring to light their normally hidden prejudices, things can get ugly real fast. Again, this is not just restricted to trans people, the situation I had today can happen on any oppression axis.

For some, the internet is the only place we can speak freely without having to fear violence. Next time you think people here overreact, think about the hundreds of times they had to stay silent, clench their teeth and hold back their tears of frustration.

I see this post is going around again, which is fine, the point is still valid. I’d just like to inform any followers that have seen my recent posts that my relationship to my brother has changed radically for the better. He’s worked through a huge amount of transmisogyny, and dumped it in the trash where it belongs.

Just so people don’t get confused with my more recent posts in which I speak more favourably of him 🙂